Everyone gets organized at some point, they just might not be around for it.
This true, albeit morbid comment, was one I read several years ago, and it has stuck with me. When we’re gone, someone will be responsible for getting our affairs in order, including going through all our things and purging and sorting.
I’ve seen my fair share of houses that look like this room in the picture. I think about what it will be like for those left behind to sort through it all. I’m at the stage in my life where many people I know have lost their parents, and even when they weren’t hoarders, there is so much work involved with going through a lifetime of accumulations. Most of the things they don’t want nor need, so there’s a lot of packing, purging, giving things away or throwing them away. One person told me it took her almost three months to sort through it all, and she was exhausted and resentful.
I don’t think most people realize the burden this places on their loved ones. Don’t you think we should try to make things as easy as possible for our children when we’re gone? If you have 5 sets of china that you rarely use, why not give them to someone who could use them now? Why not ask your children what they might want, and get rid of the rest on your own, and not leave that burden up to them?
I imagine when I’m gone, my daughter will inherit my jewelry, family photos and maybe some crystal and silver flatware. Other than that, there isn’t much I’m attached to. It’s just ‘stuff’. If you knew me, you’d know you shouldn’t come to my house and leave something lying around unless you want it thrown out, so with few exceptions I don’t have much in the way of clutter or things that don’t serve a purpose…whether that purpose is purely aesthetic or functional, or both.
What about you? Can you relate to the picture above? What do you plan to leave behind? I know it’s morbid, but we need to consider…what will be our legacy?
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Athena at Minerva's Garden says
This is a very interesting post, Doreen. I’m sure I have too much stuff. Our garage carries stuff from what feels like another lifetime, and I know it’s time to go through those boxes and recycle, give away and likely toss a bunch of it. Lately I’ve been redecorating the living and dining room, and I’ve realized my tastes have changed over time, and I’m not feeling as much of a need to hold on to the older stuff. Your post really made me stop and think! It was nice to hear from you over at my blog–I’m so glad you liked the antique ribbon lampshade I made. I’m happy with the color and the vintage look of it now–it works in that room. Thank you also for your encouraging words!
Kim Parker says
what agreat post- I am a trust and estate attorney and see more arguments over stuff than money when a loved one dies- if you care about certain things then be specific in your will- it is so important to be clear- also organized – work with a professional that you have a relationship with and respects your values and choices- more important than stuff even who will care for your pets or take them when you die or get sick even- something often overlooked and my own person quest to make sure is attended to when I work with clients.
tell the person you appoint about your life as well as your assets -your executor basically needs to unravel it-it is an inevitable event for all of us and making it less burdensome on loved ones is the last gift one can give them
The Honeys says
You are so right Kim. While I don’t like to generalize, my observations have showed me that wanting more ‘stuff’ seems to be a decidedly American trait. Europeans, for the most part, live in much smaller dwellings with far less stuff, and they manage to live fulfilled, happy lives.
Thank you Kim and Athena for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. I appreciate it!
cynthia keeley says
I know about this all too well after having just been through it. It’s so hard to go through 60 years of your family’s lives and to decide what to keep,what may be important, and what you can agree to part with…but at times, we must.
My garage and basement is now filled to the brim with boxes and containers full of those things we couldn’t decide what to do with, and my sister has the same. We invited the entire family to come over and take what they wanted or could use, and I’m happy to say that many of my Mom’s old chotchkes and holiday decorations have found new homes with her Grandchildren. That’s what she would have wanted. She also kept an old copybook through the years, where when anyone said they loved something of hers, she wrote it down that that item was to be theirs when she was gone. It really helped, as people’s memories of what they thought they were ‘promised’ is often different than the reality when they can see it written somewhere.
We are also trying to clean out our own much too large home, and I’m shaking my head at how much ‘stuff’ I have now. It can be overwhelming to deal with, but we’ve found doing one room at a time has made it a lot easier!
Good luck to anyone facing this process. It has been my least favorite thing to do….ever.
The Honeys says
Cyn, your experience is all too common! It’s something most of us will have to go through. There really is no way to avoid it, but a little planning can make the process less complicated. Good for you for getting things sorted now, although you’ll be around for many more years I hope!
Katherines Corner says
I’m kind of a neatnik so I am happy to say I don’t have any rooms like that. But may basement is a little bit disorganized right now because I am going through some holiday things.Thank you for joining in the fun at the Thursday Favorite Things hop. Happy Sunday wishes xo